Roseanne’s Morning Show Debut Blows “The View” Out of the Water

The show featured an opening monologue, which leaned heavily on the wise words of Donald Trump, followed by a few skits from popular personalities like Rob Schneider and Scott Baio. Kid Rock was the musical guest, allowing Roseanne to use nearly a minute of one of his songs while she did an homage to the January 6 prisoners.

It was a lovely show. The audience all laughed, cried, and screamed in anger at the Muslims in Congress, for some reason, before chanting “Impeach Biden” for a solid five minutes, which is how this masterpiece of television ended.

“It was beautiful,” said Barron, “We hit nearly every talking point in just under an hour. I’m a little bit concerned about we’re gonna do tomorrow, but it doesn’t really matter.”

It sure doesn’t. According to Nielsen, Roseanne’s audience has an average IQ of about 67, with a high score of 104 for the guy who sold them all rapture insurance.

it was a great day for the culture wars, patriots. We’re definitely winning. God Bless America.

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